I'm finding it difficult to publish daily—but I’m learning so much.
For starters, I’m getting better at dealing with the discomfort of just staring at the screen. It gets worse when I tell myself not to do anything that might distract me from the feeling of being unproductive.
Until recently, I imagined my head was full of great ideas and insights I’d write about once I finally started writing. It’s a relief when a light bulb finally goes off. I get so close to expressing the idea—when the editor in my head steps in. It declares the idea doesn’t make sense, even before my fingers can type a single word.
And just like that, I’m back to staring at a blank screen.
I’m learning that self-censorship is much stronger than I had imagined. Part of the pressure comes from a weird expectation that even my drafts should read well. As if ChatGPT might say, “Your draft is too bad to review.” Maybe it would—I wouldn’t know, because I usually share the third or fourth draft.
Suddenly, I’m reminded of Natalie Goldberg’s exercise in her classic book, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within. She suggests that once we choose our writing tools (her recommendation: a legal pad and a ballpoint pen), we should set a timer and just write. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, or meaning. Just write whatever comes to mind. She reminds us that writing and editing are two different tasks—and ideally, they should happen at different times.
And just like that, I’ve learned that being able to write freely, without editing, is a skill in itself.