Getting back to using Linux daily has been a frustrating and fascinating experience.

Installing Asahi Linux on my mac, and learning to use Vim did not cut it for me. I spent time reading the origin story of Asahi Linux and the history of Vim. Both are intertwined with the story of Linux and the broader Free and Open Source Software (FOSS) movement. The last few months have been filled with history lessons.

Unexpectedly, these history lessons helped me rediscover heroes I had forgotten, and my "why."

Heroes Matter

Ken Thompson, Dennis Ritchie, Richard Stallman, Linus Torvalds and many others have not only advanced the world of software but literally changed the world you and I inhabit. But mammoth individual contributions aside, understanding their ideas about how software should be made, used, and shared was truly inspiring. None of them tried to chase riches but rather focused on executing on their ideas. All these stories were not new to me. In college, their ideas made me a passionate advocate for FOSS.

Then professional life happened. My understanding and love for the FOSS philosophy and software got buried under everything I needed to learn about being effective in the social sector. In the last few years my focus turned to building a social enterprise. I was unable to raise meaningful capital to scale my enterprise and shut it down. Looking back, the biggest contributor to that failure was losing touch with who I was and what mattered to me.

Giving in to the inherent urge and urgency to succeed, I focused on the what and the how, instead of clarifying my why. I started paying attention to VCs and successful entrepreneurs. Unconsciously I chose new heroes, and gradually lost sight of my why. I started executing on ideas that I didn't believe in.

Conviction over Convention

Entrepreneurship is hard enough. Faced with that difficulty, I slowly abandoned my own convictions and started relying on conventional wisdom. Instead of being guided by the reasons why I chose to build something from scratch, fear of failure became my driving force. Fear drove me to chase success in place of making my vision come true, which are not the same thing.

Today, FOSS literally runs the world because people like Stallman and Torvalds refused to accept prevailing notions of how software should be designed, distributed, and owned. They defied convention. It probably became easier as the community grew but it was the fearlessness of a brave few that made all the difference. Reading their stories and learning about their contributions was a stark reminder of how the people we admire shape the lives we end up building.

It was never part of my plan, but making Linux my default OS led me back to something I had lost: a reminder that conviction matters more than convention. That lesson has given me the direction, inspiration, and energy to start all over again.