I never expected social change to be easy. But in the early days of my career in the sector, I was confident that I could easily pick up the skills needed to create social change. And with my middle-class dreams of seeing the world, I imagined moving from place to place, creating meaningful change wherever I went.
In 2013, about eight years into the social sector, things weren't making as much sense. I felt disoriented — like the pieces were not adding up. Around the same time, I came across this passage, supposedly written by an unknown monk in 1300 AD (some say 1100 AD but it seems to be a modern creation.)
“When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.
I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town, and as an older man, I tried to change my family.
Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly, I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation, and I could indeed have changed the world.”
It made complete sense to me. I realized social change is hard because personal change is harder. It's easy to tell others what to do — much harder to change yourself. Wanting to change the world can become a clever way to avoid facing what needs to change within.
To me, one of the most effective change-makers of all time, Mahatma Gandhi, lived by this principle. If I've understood his life correctly, till the very end, he was always striving to live by his values — not just preach them.
The last 12 years have been far more difficult for me as I tried to imbibe this ethos. Progress feels painfully slow, and the external pressure to show scale & impact (jargon for massive social change) does take its toll.
It's tempting to go back to trying to "change the world." There's a certain validation in hiding behind big words and big numbers— instead of quietly doing the work of changing yourself, which, if you're honest, is an impact of just one.
Lucky for me, I just discovered a quote attributed to Rumi:
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.
I feel re-energized to stay on the path — for another 12 years, at least.
P. S. I really need to write about (my) confirmation bias soon!
P.P.S. I did write about my confirmation bias here!