A couple of weeks ago, a good friend hosted an Easter lunch for a mixed group who had no other plans. I happened to sit next to an Italian lady who had spent the last decade or so in India. As soon as my main course was served, the Italian lady remarked on how amazed she was by the uniquely Indian ability to manage bite sizes so that by the last bite, the plate is clean.
I wasn't expecting that comment, and it got me thinking. I had definitely seen Indians leave food on their plates at the end of a meal, but it usually happened at weddings or other functions where one could get away with wasting food. But she was absolutely right about meals in Indian homes. Indian parents don't take wasting food kindly. One of the first things you learn as a child: finish your meals.
On further reflection, I was also reminded that Indians frequently don't manage to get to a clean plate with the last bite. There's usually a little bit of dance — if you’re left with curry, you’ll take an extra piece of chapatti or some rice and vice versa. And I’m pretty sure many Indians end up eating more than needed because we see these as harmless practices — even the right thing to do.
This also made me think of how my wife taught me not to worry too much about finishing everything on the plate, especially if it's not a regular occurrence. The state of the meal plate was a cultural difference I had to navigate with my wife. Early in our marriage, I remember being so shocked at the amount of food that sometimes used to be left on my wife's plate, whereas I was a well-trained Indian — a clean plate was second nature.
A couple of times, I did point this out to my wife. Her reply was pretty straightforward — she stopped eating once she was full. Just like my parents used to ask me, I asked her: “Why did you serve yourself so much food if you weren’t going to eat it?” She said firmly that she’d simply overestimated her hunger. But just because she had taken more food didn't mean she was ready to treat her body like a waste basket. She was so right. Why had I treated my body as a waste basket for so long?
I've probably overeaten countless meals in my life just because of some crazy idea that my plate has to be clean after every meal. There are no prizes for a clean plate — and I doubt my bones are thanking me for the extra weight they’ve carried over the years. Of course, it helps to serve mindfully. But once food is on the plate, the goal should be to stop eating when we’re full — not when the plate is empty.