If memory serves me right, it happened in September 2008. My cohort of Acumen Fellows were being taught Design Thinking by a team from IDEO. We had been given a problem earlier in the day, and after researching the problem, and brainstorming possible solutions, we had arrived at the prototyping session of the Design Thinking workshop. Though it felt a bit like an arts and crafts class for grown-ups, I remember being totally into it. I felt a joy that I could not describe, but it was something I had felt before. As our time ran out, and we presented our prototype, it hit me. I was feeling the joy of building something. Followed by the joy of seeing your ideas come to life, become tangible. This process of creation can be felt as an emotion too. I am unable to find the words to express this emotion. It has to be felt.
It was the same feeling I got back when I used to code regularly - professionally and personally. At work, I used to get a design solution from my project manager, and I would dive right in. It was exhilarating to transform a business process into a working software product. At home, I would keep tinkering with computer systems and new programming languages. There was always failure along the way, but that's what made the process special. Lots of learning, coding, debugging, and compiling later, the software I built would do what it was supposed to do. Pure Joy!
I love to solve problems. There is a part of me that believes that this ability makes me well suited to solve problems in the social sector, too. What I didn't factor in when I jumped into the social sector was how much longer everything took — and how little control I had over the outcome, given the sheer number of variables involved. It took me a while to figure out the void I felt. I missed the joy of building something and making it real, even if it's just a prototype. All the research, innovative thinking, and cautious implementation — though necessary to avoid harming the very people we wanted to help — had started taking its toll.
I want to feel that joy again— the spark that comes when something you imagine begins to take shape. And I want to feel it consistently. Building my home on the internet checks both those boxes. It may be small, but in every line I write or pixel I place, I feel a flicker of that same joy. And that's more than enough to keep me going.